September 2010
August 2010
4801.) Love me, kiss me and taste the rainbow. Hold my hand when no one is looking. Go on, I dare you.
I'm sorry if this sounds selfish,
but to be honest, I don’t think I’ve really missed anyone this holiday. It’s not because I don’t like my friends which is an absurd comment to state, but rather this holiday I’ve been able to spend with my family solely which does not happen often and I’ve absolutely loved it. Not continuously going on about school and just living for the moment with the people you love is such a liberating feeling.I’ve also really enjoyed being by myself- independence feels oh so good.
I’m so happy and relieved that I wasn’t in school, let alone the country when AS results came out. I don’t think I would have been able to deal with it so well, and I’m grateful that I was with my family and even though I cried loads, they just know when to say the best things at the right times. The advice I got and encouragement was quite unreal- it got me to have a plan of how I will undertake my final year. Also, I get very uncomfortable with many people asking me how I did regardless of how well I do, so I’m glad I wasn’t around (despite me not really escaping it- I still got asked a few times on facebook!).
I also liked having time for myself- not having people calling me/contacting me felt…nice. It was a good time to clear my head and put all my pain from year into perspective and to turn them all into positives- and I think it’s made me happier. Even when I eventually went home, I wasn’t excited for seeing friends, but moreso for preparing myself and mind for a new academic year in school- not just in terms of getting summer work finished (just some tweaks now), but feeling more confident in my own skin and just being more positive and happy in my character.
I don’t know- maybe when I see everyone on Wednesday again it will hit me how long I’ve not seen them…but I doubt that’ll even happen. Hmm, we’ll see how it plays out. Someone once told me that I need to stop caring and I think I’ll start following that mantra this year.
P.S I’m sort of dreading starting school in the sense that I want more time at home by myself, doing my own thing, away from school and people really. It’s felt really nice this week being my own company and I’m pretty bummed that’s going to end in a few days.
God I sound mean. But I don’t wanna lie to myself.
